When is the right time to "settle down"?

never lol but that is just me

I'd say the right time to settle down is whenever you become financially stable and are actually capable of paying for the costs of a child.

I am noticing most of my friends breaking up or getting divorced during covid

I'm actually starting to change my mind about this a little. For a long time I was an advocate for waiting until one is stable, has significant savings, all that. But I am beginning to see issues regarding this mindset as I inch closer to what I had long seen as the appropriate age group. On paper this all sounds ideal, but in reality, many people never really feel "ready": They could always have more money, have accomplished more, more experience, more confidence, etc. If you keep waiting for everything to be in order, then it may never happen. Life gets messy and will be unsatisfying for one who anticipates never having any problems. There's too much fear. Now if getting married or having children is not your goal, then it doesn't matter, but I still think this mindset can inhibit other endeavors as well. Many young people today are just kinda wandering aimlessly, I know because I feel like this a lot, but sometimes having something in their life beyond themselves can actually help jump start one into action. It's also not going to be very fun to think your youth is behind you once you hit a certain age. You can feel "settled" and still come up with ways and schedule times to let loose, and I think keeping this mind may reduce some of the hesitancy. Life doesn't have to exist in strict stages, you are still you.

I think it may be better to think in terms of what makes it NOT a good time to marry or have a child. For most people, the teens and early 20's probably is too young, though if it happens, you make it work. Age 25 seems fair as a starting point, considering brain development is just about complete. But everyone needs to judge themselves and their situation fairly, and not in comparison to others. I think one's own parental/family situation can also have a big impact on this. Someone with a support system in place will likely manage better.

It's a weird thing about growing up in general that I have come to realize: You always think that at some random future time, you'll be different. Could be the situation, how you feel as a person, how you look to yourself, how you do things; anything really. But it's an illusion we trick ourselves with. There's a lyric from some country song I can't remember "I'm stuck with the same ol' you" that struck a chord with me, I guess because it's how I feel internally. Seems like you just gotta deal with things as they arise, and when they do, everything usually (hopefully) comes together without any big moment of transformation.

Certainly, you need to be mature enough to handle the transition. Until a certain age, one might not be emotionally mature enough to make the compromises needed to make a serious relationship work, or the sacrifices necessary to care for a child. And of course, this age is probably not the same for everyone, hence why some at 28 are just likely to fall into divorce and child support as someone who is saddled with these responsibilities at 20. Others may be ready earlier, you never know.

And of course, it is said a child costs approximately $250,000 USD from birth to emancipation, so you have to be able to swallow the monetary cost.