The Virgin VS Chad meme , plus Incel & MGTOW culture

I had actually never seen Chad/virgin memes until I read this earlier. Of course going on Instagram straight after I noticed them. Weird. I think there's a name for that phenomenon.

So at least on terms of these memes, I don't find them particularly humorous. Mostly because they seem like an even more generalized version of mbti memes. It's sort of like, extremely meek person versus incredibly obnoxious person? Meh. Yes both do resemble opposing types of personalities, to the point where neither are desirable. The vibe that I'm supposed to find Virgin worse is fairly concerning. I think all it does is perpetuate shame, which doesn't help the problem.

My views on masculinity/femininity are complex and while I don't mind discussing them at length, I'll try to relate them to this topic. It reminds me of an article and thread, it was likely on PerC, that was about men and their handshake strength having drastically reduced over the last few decades. While some were trying to prove a point about how men have gotten "weaker", others remarked how we simply do not work with our hands as we once did.

I do generally have to take the side of this simply being a product of modernity. However, I also think we need to remember our history. I'm sure with every new wave of innovation, there have been romantically nostalgic comments over how things used to be more difficult. It's also worth noting that people on average used to be much thinner, and if muscular, had lean muscles centralized in their hands and arms and hands due to the nature if their work. I remember once reading a prominent Disney animator's comment on the use computer animation, "If we had it, we would've used it." I would assume the same attitude towards the past in general. Those previously did the best with what they had and there shouldn't be any shame for it.

So I don't know, I guess my point is that I don't really buy these "we're less masculine and it's bad" comments that are floating around. But something is changing. And that's related to innumerable factors. I think we're becoming nihilistic as a society. We know about so many terrible things, meanwhile seeing so many things that appear good, yet we know are not getting. Everyone saying "adulthood is hard" or "parenting is hard" and rising costs of living; there's a lot of fear and a lot of young people asking, "What's the point?" On the flipside, we are also seeing that's more to life than following a checklist, and trying to prioritize fulfillment. People are thinking about things en masse that never used to be in the public consciousness.

As far as incels go, they're probably not wrong that they were more likely to have a woman when it almost compulsory for females to marry. And then what though, be in a loveless and often sexless marriage of convenience? Pardon my detachment for a moment, but at some point this resembles natural selection. Nobody deserves a partner simply for existing. This is where some irony on the matter lies however. "Toxic masculinity" you could argue teaches these men that they deserve/should be having sex, yet it also seems to be the force ridiculing them for not, and for having supposedly undesirable features. So from that angle, it does seem to at least be a contributor.

To compare from a female perspective, I do think there are plenty of women who are disinterested in permanent relationships, just as there are those who complain they cannot "get a man", often claimed to be because of their appearance. However, women seem to have significantly less of an issue finding sex as much as to get someone to "stay". Despite our supposed sexually liberated times, I still theorize that women are biologically less willing to make themselves available, and are for lack of a better word, pickier. Our society deals with this nearly opposite though. In my personal experience, females do far more to beautify themselves and make themselves appealing. This is not the case in all species nor even all human cultures. Maybe for the modern women, who has options, attraction is getting increasingly more important. And maybe female initiated courting, a la Bumble, is something that will take some take more getting used to.

Meanwhile I do not say this to back up classic notions of masculinity. What a woman finds attractive is subjective to her own self, and often reflects something out of her own personality and physicality. If you asked me personally, I'd have to say a person able to be most unapologetically themselves is most attractive. Trying to be something one isn't is a turn off. My own perception of the masculine "fighter" archetype is he who fights for what is right, against destructive restrictions, for his loved ones, etc. The argument that still exists over context, as if that fighting should be with brute force, instead of say, love or intellect, to me is antiquated.

TLDR:
-Things are getting easier on the human body and it isn't necessarily bad.
-We are reaching a new age where we have more choices and we are still adjusting to changing lifestyles.
-Making fun of incels will just fuel them more. Meanwhile, they are like this because they still want to join the good ol boys club that rejected them.
-Old school rules are fading and we just need to collectively say "fuck it" and work on being our best selves.

100%

The awkward moment when the incel is your type

Is “Stacey” the female version?

That's just it. Poor social skills. They tend to be guys who go beyond a little awkward. Incels and loveshies usually have trouble relating to people in general and seek out these online echo chambers that plant toxic ideas in their minds about women. Easier to place the blame elsewhere than work on your own problems. The point I kept getting at on the 00s forum with a now banned user I often butted heads with was that women are just people and to get anywhere you need to relate to them as such. Pick up artist tactics are just creepy and it's problematic when you view the opposite gender as potential partner material and nothing but. Part of the problem I think is sex and status as being "taken" are held in way, way too high regard in the world. Everyone hits milestones at their own pace and it should be taught that it's fine and not that you're seriously missing out if you haven't done something yet.