How did your 2017 go so far?

It's good to hear that your life has significantly improved over the past 12-18 months. Just out of curiosity, will your trip to the UK next month be the first time you have ever traveled overseas?

Since it is the final day of 2017, I thought I would do a proper write-up of how the year was for me personally. With being in my final year of High School and undertaking my HSC, 2017 certainly had it's ups and downs. I felt like I was under a lot of pressure to perform and do well, even though I have always achieved good marks at school (with the exception of maths).

For the entire first half of the year, there was a bit of a riff between myself and a friend of mine. It all started from him not responding to my Facebook messages around this time last year, even though he had read all of them and he went online very regularly. This carried on for several weeks and in the end, I got annoyed and snapped at him for continuing to do it. For the next six months, we didn't talk or even look at each other. It had an effect of my work in Advanced English, the only subject in which we were both in the same class. I was so frustrated that there was tension over something so ridiculous and I felt as though I wasn't even in the wrong.

At the parent-teacher interviewers in the middle of the year, my English teacher spoke to my Mum about the issue (even though she already knew about it) and how it had affected my schoolwork. My English teacher was close to bursting in tears, because she could see how it was affecting me and how depressed I had become. I felt awful seeing my English teacher so distraught over what had happened. It only made me feel worse, and more depressed.

About a week later, I received a Facebook message from my friend out of the blue. He asked me if he could talk to me about something. Of course, with wanting to become friends with him again deep down, I responded to him and read what he had to say. As it turns out, he was just as upset over the whole situation and he asked if I could forgive him. He genuinely felt guilty and horrible over what happened. After a conversation that went for about 20 minutes, we agreed to both move on from it and become friends again. That was back in early July. Since then, we have become friends again and our friendship is back to how it was before the incident occurred.

For me, 2017 will be remembered as the year I became a legal adult. For my 18th birthday, my family and I went to a bowling club for dinner. I also invited my long-time friend to come along to it as well. While I didn't want to do anything for 18th birthday, it was definitely a highlight for me and something I will look back on with fondness. Turning 18 was a bit daunting for me, because it made me truly realise how fast time has passed and what the future may have in stall for me.

Despite pressure from my friends, I have made the decision not to drink any alcohol and I never had a drink on my 18th birthday. The thought of even drinking alcohol would go against everything that I stand for. I know the effects that it can have on people. My Dad is an alcoholic and I've seen how his alcoholism has ruined relationships in the family. It has had a deep effect on me ever since I was 9 years old and this year wasn't an exception. The most upsetting thing about it, is that when he doesn't drink, he is the best Dad I could possibly ever ask for. I've always bonded really well with my Dad and I enjoy spending time with him, whenever I go down and visit him each week.

There were times this year where I would arrange plans to go and see him, but I would get a phone call from him the next morning, saying that he has "hayfever" and it would be best to cancel the plans. He does get hayfever, but in reality, it's because he had a big night and had too much to drink. It really disappoints me when that happens and it's happened about twice within the past month. There's nothing I can do about it though.

After months of studying and pressure, I undertook my HSC exams in mid-late October. My final HSC exam was on the 2nd November. Since then, I have been off and have essentially been on an extended break. The reason for that is because i'm going on a holiday to Tasmania in a few weeks and it doesn't make sense to apply for a job now, when I will be going on holidays very soon.

Earlier this month, I found out my HSC results. In the end, I was quite pleased with how I performed in the exams. I got 81% for Society & Culture, 77% for Advanced English, 76% for Senior Science, 65% for Industrial Technology Multimedia (which, tbh, I was a little bit disappointed about) and 63% for maths. I was in disbelief over my maths mark, because all throughout my time in high school, my exam marks in maths mostly ranged from 45%-55%. Funnily enough, though, I was always in the Top-10 for the best performers in General Maths, even though my marks really weren't that great. In my trial HSC exam, I only got 37%. Yet, despite this, I came second in my class.

My lowest point this year was on the 4th December, when I had a dispute with my Mum in the evening and said some things which I really shouldn't of. I was so frustrated and depressed, I left home and drove to the Kiama Blowhole at 8pm, a tourist attraction about 20 minutes away from where I live. One of my biggest faults is that I can't easily move on from things which have left me feeling upset in the past, especially considering that I have had depression since Early 2012. Whenever I have a negative experiences, it feels like I relive all of my past negative emotions and experiences, which only makes me feel worse.

My dispute with my Mum, basically felt like a culmination of all the horrible experiences I have had over the past several years. In all honesty, I did have suicidal thoughts that night. I stayed in my car until 11pm that night, after I had received a phone call from my Dad. No one knew my whereabouts, which of course, made my parents really concerned.

In summary, 2017 was definitely a mixed bag for me. With looking for my first job sometime in the next month or so, it will be interesting to see how 2018 pans out. I hope it will be better, but I guess i'll just have to wait and see.

No worries.  

Thanks for sharing your experience with your friend a couple of years ago. Hopefully you will be able to stay friends with him. I know it would be hard to catch up now that you have both finished school, but at least you could possibly stay in touch on Facebook or Snapchat.

Thanks EyewitnessTV. I really appreciate it.

I hope 2018 is a good year for you as well!