Worst Songs of the 1970s

10.

I love both of these talented singers, but their talent is utterly wasted on this lame piece of kitsch.

9.

One of several tasteless, boring, and worthless pieces of glam rock rubbish to come out of the UK during the first half of the 70s. I like "L'l'lucy" from this group, but mostly, their work was really, really bland.

8.

Look, power to you if you want to be clean and moral (which...yeah, we'll get to that), but as a pop song, this is just pitifully corny. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this is what became of Ringo Starr in more recent years.

7.

Distorting the guitars doesn't improve upon 50s rock and roll, guys, it just dulls it out.

6.

This is infamous, and for good reason. I probably shouldn't even be taking it seriously, but the fact of its existence is just evidence that somebody was a bit up his arse at the time.

5.

if 2005 was the year that the UK most outmatched the US for popular music, then 1973 was hands down the year that the American charts were most superior to the British charts. The glam rock era was a truly dark period for music in the UK, possibly even worse than most 2010s years. For every act of the movement with artistic merit, like David Bowie, Roxy Music, and T-Rex, there were incredibly generic, soulless musicians like Gary Glitter, the Rubettes, and Mud. Slade may have improved significantly over the years, but their early megahits were just noisy garbage.

4.

I know this guy's an easy target, for obvious reasons, but even taking out what a horrible human being Gary Glitter is, most of his music is just pure trash. Like a lot of glam rock from the early-to-mid-70s, this uncreatively lifts elements of 50s music, in this case doo-wop, and misguidedly amplifies it, sucking out any level of soul its source genre had in the first place. The lyrics and vocals are trash, too. Pretty fittingly, Glitter's only hit in America, and by far his best, is pretty much just an instrumental.

3.
Jimmy Osmond - Long Haired Lover from Liverpool
I won't post a video because SharksFan99 already did so himself. Even if you're going to let a talentless little kid ride off the coattails of his older siblings, at least give him something age-appropriate. Jimmy should have been featured on Sesame Street or something, not comparing himself to Abbey Road-era Beatles.

2.

Seriously, Ringo? Why did you cover this? You can't disguise perversion with a saccharine pop melody. Kiss' "Christine Sixteen" is guilty of the same questionable subject matter, but this is worse because it's also in utter denial that what the narrator is doing is wrong.

1.

Nothing even comes close. This is absolutely unbearable. I may be more tolerant and occasionally accepting of dumb novelty songs than most, but this is utter bullshit. I hate every aspect about it. The pitched-up character is annoying enough on her own, but compounding that issue is the nauseating pitched-down voice cooing, "I dig it! I really dig it!," as well as the fact that nothing about this track is musically coherent. The production is just some peppy boogie woogie junk, and at almost no point is there ever anything resembling a real hook. Most of the vocals don't even really match the backup instruments. This guy's name may sound like a male version of my personal idol, but this track may as well be the complete opposite of the charming, propulsive, orgasmically delightful "I Said Never Again (But Here We Are)."

It's not so much the instrument that I have an issue with. I just think it makes the song sound really cheap and tacky, especially considering how repetitive it is.

Haha. Can you remember the names of the bands/artists or the lyrics in the songs?

I hate the following:
Fattie Bum Bum by Carl Malcolm
Lonely This Christmas by Mud
Ire Feelings by Rupie Edwards (the worst one)
Lucky Number by Lene Lovich (the second worst one)
All of T Rex's output
Let 'Em In and Silly Love Songs by Wings
The Hustle by Van McCoy

Basically if "Baby" by Justin Bieber was released in the 70s, even though this is agreeably much worse because instead of a driving electro-beat the extremely corny instrumentation makes it ended up sounding like emotional dribble.
This is a Paul Anka cover that became a huge hit in the Anglophone countries.

Apparently a massive hit in 1971 America. This is simply extremely embarassing, an annoying childish melody coupled with lyrics about his penis. Another one of those novelty songs I can't really stomach.
How can a legend of the 50s come up with something this bad?