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Post by al on Jul 8, 2018 8:05:28 GMT 10
Are most people proclaiming to have haters actually just using it as an excuse to do whatever they want?
Last night I was watching the 2017 news clip of Jake Paul calling his neighbors "haters" after complaining about his antics. I am finding this notion incredibly common, for people to dismiss genuine concerns as someone just not letting them live, famous or not.
Like one could get called out for being genuinely terrible, but instead of reflecting upon it or apologizing, just call their critic a hater.
I don't have any problem with the term itself. At some point we all have dealt with illogical criticism or pointless hate, and it deserves to be called out for what it is. But I also think many are ruining the legitimacy of the concept, and it may begin to seem like a lame excuse for being dismissive when used by anybody.
Thoughts?
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"Haters"
Jul 8, 2018 11:20:25 GMT 10
via mobile
Post by rainbow on Jul 8, 2018 11:20:25 GMT 10
It also annoys me when people think that people who don’t like you or don’t like the stuff that you do/make are “jealous”. I hate to sound like an asshole, but there are actually “haters” that actually aren’t jealous. I will admit, I don’t like some people and I do dislike some people for no good reason, but I never actually felt jealous of them.
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Post by SharksFan99 on Jul 8, 2018 18:36:00 GMT 10
There's just no pleasing everybody unfortunately, whether someone has the best of intentions or not. I do think people use the term "hate" too loosely to describe whatever they are dissatisfied with. It can be easy just to say you "hate" something without actually meaning it and more often than not, people are too stubborn to change their opinion. Jealousy can definitely play a huge role in what someone likes or dislikes.
For instance, when I was in Year 5, I remember there were these two boys in the grade above me who hated me for no reason. They used to treat me like dirt and try to provoke me just for the sake of it. It only started to happen after I became friends with someone in the grade above me and because the two of them (and my friend) were in the same class as me, I would sometimes sit and interact with the other Year 6 kids as well. I don't know why it ever concerned them though, because they weren't friends with my best friend.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2018 2:51:52 GMT 10
I'm one of those people that abuses that word.  If I'm typing it though, I prefer to go with "h8r". It also annoys me when people think that people who don’t like you or don’t like the stuff that you do/make are “jealous”. I hate to sound like an asshole, but there are actually “haters” that actually aren’t jealous. I will admit, I don’t like some people and I do dislike some people for no good reason, but I never actually felt jealous of them. I'm guilty of this too, except I say "jelly".
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2018 7:35:32 GMT 10
Exactly. After all, if you don't like a person, why would you be jealous? What would they have that you want?
I experience this every time I admit I don't like Kylie Minogue. 'You're just jealous' is what I've had levelled at me.
Jealous of what, exactly? There are only 2 women I have ever wanted to be and neither of them is Kylie.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2018 9:53:52 GMT 10
I think I found a solution thanks to Jake Paul:
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Post by aja675 on Jul 9, 2018 13:21:56 GMT 10
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Post by aja675 on Jul 10, 2018 23:19:19 GMT 10
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Post by dount2005 on Jul 11, 2018 1:57:00 GMT 10
People want to believe that everyone likes them in some way or form, they want to push the haters aside and find something good about themselves, therefore by calling haters "jealous" it makes them feel better about themselves. There is nothing wrong with it. Some haters are jealous, some aren't.
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Post by al on Jul 12, 2018 14:58:40 GMT 10
Yeah the concept of jealousy is not the easiest to quantify. Sometimes people are, sometimes they are not. Often I find it to be indirect, where they may find someone undeserving and therefore envy their success on the basis of being more deserving. They may envy someone's freedom, whereas they feel comparatively too tied down or concerned with appropriateness. This is probably true for a lot of famous people and just seems to occur on the internet in general.
However, it's really up to the individual to determine what they are dealing with. Sometimes they may actually be causing harm to other individuals yet they still shrug it off as if it were the same as getting called ugly. Basically what has happened imo is that claiming to have haters is a way to make being disliked cool. And claiming there is jealousy just childishly spins it around, it's like saying "I am rubber, you are glue".
Sometimes I'm not sure if those so fixated on their haters don't know from experience what real bullying is. I've known a few like that. Then again, there can also be some obsessed with taking down their childhood bully into adulthood.
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Post by aja675 on Jul 19, 2018 16:04:32 GMT 10
 My old mentality in a nutshell. I developed it after a bunch of traumas in my early teens, and when It Gets Better was still a thing, I interpreted it as, "oh my God, your life is gonna get better with no effort at all, I promise," and I guess that gave me this warped mentality that if people are hating, you must be doing something right. That's why my traumas from 2012-early 2016 are still affecting me: because while I developed defense mechanisms to keep myself sane after my rocky early adolescence, it turned out even these defense mechanisms weren't real. I've been saying for a long time that my Dominican College days were like a teen film remake of A Streetcar Named Desire: because I was a fake-ass bitch who only became like that because of trauma, and I met a bunch of cruel people who were obsessed with taking down a liar, even though said liar only wanted to escape from the past. So yeah, I think it would have been a better mentality for me to listen to the grains of truth in what my haters said, and use said grains of truth to fix myself so that no bad words could ever affect me because I'd know in my heart they weren't true.
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Post by aja675 on Jul 19, 2018 23:39:18 GMT 10
Wow, isn't this forum not very active today? 
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If I'm typing it though, I prefer to go with "h8r".
