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Post by SharksFan99 on Feb 15, 2018 8:07:46 GMT 10
There was a debate on the Today show a few minutes ago, about whether smacking a child is appropriate and how it impacts on the child. Just out of curiosity, do you believe smacking a child is appropriate or do you think it's an unacceptable behaviour?
I don't agree with it. There are more appropriate methods in managing a child's behaviour than having to resort to smacking. Statistics have shown that smacking can contribute to problems later on in life, such as low self-esteem and aggressive behaviour. Personally, I was smacked as a child. My Mum used to do it, but my Dad didn't.
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Post by rainbow on Feb 15, 2018 8:40:06 GMT 10
Both my mom and dad used to smack me and they still will do it especially my dad. My dad would get his belt and smack me for something I did wrong. From my own experience, I can say that it did teach me how to behave, but they tend to do it the hard way. I remember back when I was like 9 my brother wouldn’t cut the grass in the backyard so my dad and brother had a physical fight in the garage. They were like hitting each other and I was standing there just watching. He eventually cut it though. I’m speaking as someone who has a white mom and a black dad. 
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Post by longaotian on Feb 15, 2018 10:05:17 GMT 10
Both my mom and dad used to smack me and they still will do it especially my dad. My dad would get his belt and smack me for something I did wrong. From my own experience, I can say that it did teach me how to behave, but they tend to do it the hard way. I remember back when I was like 9 my brother wouldn’t cut the grass in the backyard so my dad and brother had a physical fight in the garage. They were like hitting each other and I was standing there just watching. He eventually cut it though. I’m speaking as someone who has a white mom and a black dad. Damn.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2018 12:29:29 GMT 10
My mom used to hit me a lot! My dad not as much. I agree. It's wrong to hit your kid and there are better methods of discipline. I "turned out alright", but this topic has been studied to death scientifically and it always shows that kids that are hit aren't as well behaved as those that aren't. When I have kids, I'm not going to hit them. The way I discipline my little sisters is I threaten to take away their laptops/gadgets for a period of time. If they still don't listen, I ALWAYS follow through on my threat. They can cry, beg and plead on their knees that they'll never do it again and they learnt their lesson, but if I said I'm not giving them their computer back until the end of the weekend, I mean it. Now they know to listen to me. 
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2018 12:47:45 GMT 10
Both my mom and dad used to smack me and they still will do it especially my dad. My dad would get his belt and smack me for something I did wrong. From my own experience, I can say that it did teach me how to behave, but they tend to do it the hard way. I remember back when I was like 9 my brother wouldn’t cut the grass in the backyard so my dad and brother had a physical fight in the garage. They were like hitting each other and I was standing there just watching. He eventually cut it though. I’m speaking as someone who has a white mom and a black dad. I'm surprised your dad still hits you even though you're pretty much grown  My parents stopped hitting me when I was 14. That's one reason why I associate 13 more with childhood and 14 more with teenagehood
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Post by rainbow on Feb 15, 2018 12:49:45 GMT 10
IMO smacking a child will most likely do more harm than good. Since my dad smacked me more than my mom, I hardly talked to my dad and I didn't really want to. I always talked to my mom. When I was younger, I saw my dad as "dangerous" and "rude" because he would smack me with the belt when I didn't do something or did something wrong. I remember in late 2013 when I refused to clean the dishes and he decided to lean me against the table and yell at me to clean them. It almost seemed like he was choking me. I remember crying and wanting to not talk to him again. My mom learned from him and sometimes will smack me or pull my hair but she mainly just took my things away.
Even though I did grow up being smacked like that, I just think that it's a perfect recipe for ruining your relationship with your child. I don't want to discipline my kids like that. I just think it is way too far and I'd even go as far to say it's child abuse. I just think you're teaching your kid that it's ok to smack and hit someone if they don't do as you say, and then they end up doing the same with their future kids and etc.
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Post by SharksFan99 on Feb 15, 2018 15:28:11 GMT 10
My mom used to hit me a lot! My dad not as much. I agree. It's wrong to hit your kid and there are better methods of discipline. I "turned out alright", but this topic has been studied to death scientifically and it always shows that kids that are hit aren't as well behaved as those that aren't. When I have kids, I'm not going to hit them. The way I discipline my little sisters is I threaten to take away their laptops/gadgets for a period of time. If they still don't listen, I ALWAYS follow through on my threat. They can cry, beg and plead on their knees that they'll never do it again and they learnt their lesson, but if I said I'm not giving them their computer back until the end of the weekend, I mean it. Now they know to listen to me. Yep. Smacking a child doesn't teach the child anything. A child generally doesn't understand the motive behind a parent choosing to smack them. Of course, they know it's because they have done something wrong, but half the time the parent doesn't even inform the child of what they've done wrong and they just choose to smack them as a result of what they perceive to be as bad behaviour. IMO smacking a child will most likely do more harm than good. Since my dad smacked me more than my mom, I hardly talked to my dad and I didn't really want to. I always talked to my mom. When I was younger, I saw my dad as "dangerous" and "rude" because he would smack me with the belt when I didn't do something or did something wrong. I remember in late 2013 when I refused to clean the dishes and he decided to lean me against the table and yell at me to clean them. It almost seemed like he was choking me. I remember crying and wanting to not talk to him again. My mom learned from him and sometimes will smack me or pull my hair but she mainly just took my things away. Even though I did grow up being smacked like that, I just think that it's a perfect recipe for ruining your relationship with your child. I don't want to discipline my kids like that. I just think it is way too far and I'd even go as far to say it's child abuse. I just think you're teaching your kid that it's ok to smack and hit someone if they don't do as you say, and then they end up doing the same with their future kids and etc. I'm sorry to hear about that.  To be honest, I do think that is bordering on being child abuse. They shouldn't still be threatening to smack you if you do something wrong. I mean, you turn 16 this year. It's bad enough that they even did it when you were younger, let alone the fact that you will be a legal adult in a couple of years time. I'm surprised your dad still hits you even though you're pretty much grown My parents stopped hitting me when I was 14. That's one reason why I associate 13 more with childhood and 14 more with teenagehood Ages 13-14 aren't acceptable either, in my opinion. My Mum stopped hitting me when I was 5 years old.
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Post by longaotian on Feb 15, 2018 16:10:57 GMT 10
From memory, I dont think my parents ever used physical punishment when me or my sisters were growing up. They would either just raise their voice or threaten us with my dads belt but never follow through, lol. Although for some strange reason my family has a habit of throwing things when we get angry. I think sometime around 2007 my mum got angry at my sister and so she threw a book at her but she missed and it smashed our winow and we had to get it fixed. Another time was when my dad confiscated my older sisters Pink Motorola Razr (it was 2006 guys) and my sister was trying to grab it off him so he went to throw it to mum for her to catch but she didn't and it fell down the stairs and smashed.
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Post by SharksFan99 on Feb 15, 2018 21:26:17 GMT 10
Another time was when my dad confiscated my older sisters Pink Motorola Razr (it was 2006 guys) and my sister was trying to grab it off him so he went to throw it to mum for her to catch but she didn't and it fell down the stairs and smashed. That's pretty unfortunate. 
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Post by rainbow on Feb 15, 2018 22:19:11 GMT 10
@slowpoke1993 SharksFan99Actually I don’t know if they would still smack me. I remember when my dad told me not to feed the dogs yet and I almost did despite him telling me not to, and all he did was yell at me. This was in December 2017.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 16, 2018 4:28:21 GMT 10
Even my parents weren't that bad, Rainbow and they were bloody strict! My sister even married young just to get away.
To answer the thread question: the answer is no.
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Post by mwalker96 on Mar 2, 2018 5:41:47 GMT 10
Oh wow pretty intresting stories. I got beat occassionaly I did something wrong, but most of my beatings were from talking back. I was raised by an old school Black mom (my mom was born in 1945) so talking back was a no no. I haven't gotten ten beaten with a belt in years, but she would slap me if I would get her mad enough. How my mom is so old you say, we'll because I'm adopted.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2018 16:01:20 GMT 10
When i was 11 and this was in July of 2015 i was trying to make an egg sandwich than I used up all the bread and when my mom came over and asked me if I did it I lied and I got punished. In 2011 (I think) i was 7 and I was mad at my mom and she told me to get something and I refused to get it and boy did she whipped me. In August of 2015 I went to the Zoo and after the zoo I got mad so I slammed the door as I went outside my mother and told me to go in my room and when she came in my room she hit me sometimes I hate my 11 year old self.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2018 16:04:11 GMT 10
@slowpoke1993 SharksFan99 Actually I don’t know if they would still smack me. I remember when my dad told me not to feed the dogs yet and I almost did despite him telling me not to, and all he did was yell at me. This was in December 2017. Same I haven't got whooped since I was 8 so and the recently last time I got whooped was by my brother in October of 2016 all because I threw a stuffed Pikachu at my sister anyways now my mom just yells at me.
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Post by mwalker96 on Mar 9, 2018 12:50:21 GMT 10
@slowpoke1993 SharksFan99 Actually I don’t know if they would still smack me. I remember when my dad told me not to feed the dogs yet and I almost did despite him telling me not to, and all he did was yell at me. This was in December 2017. Same I haven't got whooped since I was 8 so and the recently last time I got whooped was by my brother in October of 2016 all because I threw a stuffed Pikachu at my sister anyways now my mom just yells at me. O wow, pretty interesting how you got whooped @wobo. Usually, I hear older people say that parents don't beat their kids anymore that's why our generation is so bad. I got whooped by my older sister when I was 9 for accidentally kicking my little brother in the stomach. I know Black parents still beat their kids because of the verse in Proverbs on sparing the rod and in most cases Hispanic parents, but that's mainly because people of those groups of people live in harsher environments where physical punishment teaches kids how to be tough. Didn't mean for the post to be racial, but being that you're the youngest on this board I wouldn't have expected you to have gotten whooped, maybe spanked (being whooped and spanked are different in where I'm from).
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To be honest, I do think that is bordering on being child abuse. They shouldn't still be threatening to smack you if you do something wrong. I mean, you turn 16 this year. It's bad enough that they even did it when you were younger, let alone the fact that you will be a legal adult in a couple of years time. 
